Show and thanks

What I'm thankful for this year is Bree. As corny as that sounds she is one of the only things keeping me going and the few people who have read this probably guessed what was going to happen but yeah me and Bree are going out now. What I'm not thankful for is that stupid curse you know the one that makes me and other changelings ,I think Bree calls us,  like each other. I don't know if we like each other because we like each other because the curse at least just wasn't affected by the curse I knew with her and now Toyna knows. We care for each other because we're both awesome well she's awesome I have proven over the last couple years I am not but whatever. I need to look on the bright side I'm still very happy.

Also the show happens that fashion show Coraline wanted me to do. The outfits were cute but I wasn't able to take any pictures I think we did so maybe I'll put some up later but sorry. All of us were there so it was the first time I talked to Jess since the  show. Found out what happened. Jess blame yourself for me not liking skating anymore. And got really drunk that night Tonya  found her took care of her and let her stay over Jess just been kind of staying with friends since she moved out. A lot like with me and Bree they just fell for each other too. I'm happy for them me and Jess made up. I hope we can all be friends again. I hate to think that I almost broke up every single one of our friendships. Yeah I'm still the worst. But you know Happy late Thanksgiving

I STILL DON'T KNOW.

So my show happen and it went pretty well .  Slowly  over the week I had found my love skating again at least I started to. How to make the show about getting as high as I could and just give me as much air time so it was all in the halfpipe which is my favorite anyways been doing a lot of tricks with a lot of airtime. I want to feel like I was flying because that's what I Remember Loving about skating at least how I started to love skating and that's what happened again during the show I finally found it. I felt like I was flying and it was fun again. Then the show ended and The Wind Beneath My Wings left as I landed look out in the crowd Jess and Tonya  were kissing. The super going at it or anything it's just one pretty passionate kiss.
Still don't know what to think about it like I'm happy for them I'm glad they are happy it seems. I'm glad Jess is probably staying because I'm going to stay as well. I know I heard Tonya and I have had a crush if not more on Jess for most of  my life. So it was kind of hard to find out like that and I could tell Bree wasn't  too happy with them either. You know what happened between them to get like that and I'm not sure if I'm going to because I don't want to pry I guess I should just be happy for them but it didn't feel good at the time.

So with better news I got sponsors so I'll be able to make a pretty good living off of skating add that the modeling and I should be fine. I was a mess when we got to me by the way. Like I was trying to keep it together because of you know the sponsors she came in got me away from all told them to give their cards to Coraline and just let me break down in her car where no one could see us. He has been like my rock this whole time I'm staying with her now both me and Max. My old house is a little bit of a mess so probably for the best. Okay it's a disaster. Not sure if anything is going to go on updated something interesting happens. I have that modeling show maybe I'll post after that I think all of us are going to be part of it so the I will have to deal with Jess and Tonya. Bye for now also sorry for no pictures I only have my phone yeah goodbye.

Things get better and worse

So i didn't say what happebd between me and bree last time. she came over to hear my sied of the story about tonya. i thouhgt she would take tonya's side, hell i take tonya's side. so i just start talking about how im awful, and gross. but bree still tries to help. i tell her i don’t want help and we get in to it. she leavs but as i asking her not to under my breath .  I didn’t think she heard me but she did.

That's what brings us to today. Carolyn shows up at my house. hinting that im overwaight and that i need to work out because in 2 weeks she needs me to do a fashion show ahe has a punk line if clothes and I'm the first one she thought of she already had them in the size  i was at the last show. but before that she heard i wasnt skating and that i had even been blacklisted, which was true my last manager was not happy i fired him. so she had got ma a demo this week it's  friday in fact. i would need to make sure i brought my a game sponsors would be there. just saying that woman is scary. 

Will i got dressed and went to my faverot skate park to train. but on the way i ran in to Jess. I tried my best to not bust out in to teris and im sorry. but then she told me she was moiving back home. my hart snake a bit i asked her to stay at lest  till friday for  what may be my last skate demo as skating wasn’t  fun any more. she said sure and left very fast. i guess she just didn’t want to be around me too long.

Truth was skating wasn't fun hell i hadn't done it in a year just all this bullshit made me nit want to and my last manager made me sick of it. in truth i need this demo to make it fun again. and while traing today i was enjoying my self mostly whent i got a lot of air time on the half pipe. feeling better after a long day of skating i went back home but i ran in to tonya.

She told me that jess was looking for me but i said i know and tried to say sorry. she told me to save it she didn't seem mad but she seemed done. i got yhe feeling i hurt her real nad. i just thought it was that curse but i think it was more for her. I started to feel  like human garbage again but told her about the show.  The we parted ways because again im the worst and she shouldn’t have to suffer me for that long.

While at home Bree came by. she grabbed and told max to come with because im staying with her and not my dump of a house. without jess i didn't know how to fix it so it was bad. I'm at her place now we wacthed stranger things and ate ice cream. also not schocked to find out she told Carolyn i was in a bad way and maybe letting myself go knowing she couldn't help but Carolyn could even if it kills me. that was my day so i don't know if things are better or worse now ill know friday though.

I'm the worst

Okay every one sing along.

Burning bridges all around all around going down.
I burned every bridge i had in town.
I pissed off Bree.

So yeah everyine hates me even max i forgot to feed him this morning... wait he is licking my face he loves me again. someone needs too.